


Deluge

by Daisey_May



Category: American Gods (TV), American Gods - Neil Gaiman
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Drama, F/M, Falling In Love, Kissing, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-30
Updated: 2019-11-30
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:01:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21619543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daisey_May/pseuds/Daisey_May
Summary: Laura leaves Mad Sweeney after their night at the Coq Noir, but she doesn't get very far.
Relationships: Laura Moon & Mad Sweeney, Laura Moon/Mad Sweeney, madwife - Relationship
Comments: 9
Kudos: 81





	Deluge

# Deluge

_“The price’ll be steep...How badly do you want it?”_

His words of warning lingered in her troubled mind. He knew. He _fucking_ knew what would happen. And he knew she wouldn’t have been able to handle it. She hated that he knew that.

She moved with a purpose. The quicker she walked, the more distance she gained, the less likely she was to remember. She’s good at this, has had years of practice.

Still, it surfaces in her mind’s eye with such all-consuming clarity that it physically shifts her off balance. She waits for the waves of memory to hit her, making her nervous and unsteady, the sidewalks of uneven cobblestones not helping.

But it’s the phantom feel of his waist captured between her bare thighs and his blunt nails pressing into her hips that sends her stumbling and falling into a man wide enough and tall enough to be a human brick wall. She bounces off of him, and he spills his beer down the front of his shirt and onto her boots.

“Hey! What the hell?!” He shouts, raising arms and his eyes to her. She’s briefly stunned, but recovers quickly and she sizes him up, squaring her small body with his, summoning the fire he now sees behind her eyes. She has experience with big men. She controls big men.

One look at her face is all it takes for him to snap his mouth shut and back up, hands raised in defense. She glared at him for a second longer, then turned away.

“Fuck!” She yelled loudly, rubbing angrily at the back of neck, promptly refocusing and regaining her step, resuming her swift weaving between the crowds of people.

Usually she has regained control at this point. She has successfully avoided, ignored and moved on. Out of sight, out of mind.

Something’s different this time though. She can’t get away. It’s following her, breathing down the back of her neck, sending chills down her spine.

Her ears are pricked, listening closely for the familiar footfalls behind her, his signature heavy steps that always gave him away. A part of her is expecting him. A bigger part is counting on it. And she hates that too.

The further she fled from the bar without his calloused hand grabbing her arm and spinning her round roughly to face him, the more her panic rose, and it pressed relentlessly on the emotions she had expertly locked away, driving them to the surface.

_His lips on her neck. His hands running up her back. The way he looked at her like..._

Her chest constricted.

Suddenly the hair on the back of her neck pricked, and she spun around, wild eyes scanning the crowd. She had expected to see him there, right at her heels.

But it was only the tourists behind her, wandering aimlessly, chatting happily. She chewed on her nails and continued walking.

“I’m fine, I’m fine,” she repeated under her breath like a mantra, but it did nothing to help. For the first time since she had learned to expertly put up her walls, regret was seeping in through the cracks.

Her cruelty. His face when she accused him. A poison arrow through his Achilles heel, his moral code. A direct hit.

_“What will you do when your skin warms for another?”_

_“What happened last night wasn’t part of some grand plan…”_

The fear of realization spread through her quickly like an out of control fire, and it forced her body to stop far before her mind was willing to give in. And though she tried to fight it, to continue to trudge on along the small, winding streets, and through the crowds of excited tourists, her feet began to feel as heavy as cinder blocks, and her footsteps stuttered and slowed.

The oppressive heat and suffocating humidity hit her all at once. She stumbled, her hand just barely catching the corner of a brick building, and she leaned into it. Eyeing the shadowy alleyway around the corner, she hauled herself toward it, exhaling in relief as the cool shade washed over her, protecting her from the beating sun and the crush of the crowds.

The air was hot and thick and it settled heavily in her lungs. She collapsed against the cool brick, letting it bleed into her overheated, tense body.

Sinking into a low crouch with her knees pulled tight to her chest, she pushed the heels of her hands against her eyes, then spread her fingers wide to cover her face. She couldn’t catch her breath, and it came out labored and heavy. With each ragged exhale the tears were brought closer to the surface until they were flowing freely through the spaces between in her fingers. When she went to breath in, bringing that much needed air to her lungs, it came out in a choking sob that would have broken the heart of anyone who heard it.

She squeezed her eyes shut and clapped her hand over her mouth in an attempt to stifle whatever remained of her sorrow. Thunder rumbled ominously in the distance and she focused on it’s low roll across the sky to keep her grounded.

“There you are.”

Her head swiveled at the sound of his voice. He was standing at the entrance of the alleyway, his jacket in his hand and sweat glistening on his forehead, exhaling deeply at the sight of her.

She leapt to her feet and hastily wiped the tears from her cheeks, hating that he had caught her crying, and at the same time pointedly ignoring the instantaneous pang off relief she felt knowing that he had come for her.

His brow furrowed in concern and he took a step towards her. She stepped back and crossed her arms protectively over her chest, waiting anxiously for him to say something smart about her moment of weakness, or worse, something sincere, but it never came. The longer he studied her without speaking, the more uneasy and exposed she felt.

“What the fuck do you want?” She bit out angrily, forcing them back to a familiar place of contention where she knew she could regain control. He narrowed his eyes and nodded, unsurprised by her retort, all too aware of her game.

“You done running then?” He asked tiredly, his eyes running over her as pulled a cigarette sharply from behind his ear.

“Fuck you,” she spit out. Her heartbeat picked up and began to pound in her ears.

He frowned and nodded, once again unsurprised. Frustration swelled inside of her, her usual pointed barbs barely grazing him. She grit her teeth and clenched her fists.

The corner of his lips turned up into a small, sarcastic smile. He placed the cigarette between his lips, lit it, and took a deep drag, his eyes never leaning hers, his smirk growing, taunting her.

”Fuck you, hmm? Interesting choice of words,” he drawled lazily.

The little control she had left snapped like a dry twig. She stepped up to him and pushed him hard, and he flew back against the brick wall.

“Fuck,” he groaned, dragging himself up and rubbing his shoulder, the amusement wiped from his face.

“I thought I made it clear that I was leaving, without you. So why the fuck are you following me?” She asked, throwing her arms in the air and letting them fall heavily to her sides.

“My property, dead wife. Where it goes, I go.”

“Deals off. Is that all?” She asked pointedly, tipping her chin up.

He squinted his eyes at her and cocked his head, and she knew instantly that she had slipped. His lazy smirk returned.

“Maybe I should be asking you that very question. It wasn’t my truth you traded for, was it?”

Her heart skipped a beat. “You set me up.”

“I didn’t, and you know it.”

The feelings of fear and confusion and vulnerability swept through her again, and she internally faltered. He sensed it, and she watched the smile slip from his face as he swallowed hard. She needed to know.

“Was that real?”

She didn’t have to elaborate. He knew what she was talking about. He cleared his throat, dropping his eyes from hers. “It was… so what does that make me?”

 _My truth_ , her mind whispered to her. Suddenly it was all too much.

“I can’t talk about this,” she mumbled. She felt tired and lightheaded, the heat and the confusion and the suppressed emotions rushing to her head. She began to brush past him.

He moved to stand in front of her, and gripped her arm firmly.

“Where are you going?”

The sarcasm had all but left his voice, and concern with a hint of fear had replaced it. Her stomach knotted.

“The deal’s fucking off. I’m keeping the coin. Don’t make me hurt you.”

“What? No.”

“There’s no fucking deal!” She shouted, using a final burst of energy to pull her arm away.

“I don’t care about the fucking deal, ok?! Christ!”

She stopped struggling against his grip and stared at him.

“What do you mean?”

He released her arm like he’d been shocked by it and ran a hand over the back of his head.

 _He was embarrassed_ , she thought. He always did that when he was embarrassed, and an alarm went off in her head because she knew that about him. _She knew that about him._

Before he could answer her, a loud crack split the sky above them, and the rain that had threatened since her retreat from the bar fell. It brought with it a shift in the atmosphere that felt like release, and Laura closed her eyes and raised her face to the sky. She let the cool rain cascade over her burning skin and soak into her hair and her dress. She inhaled, deep and long, welcoming it.

“Fuck. Come on,” he sighed, reaching for her hand through the curtain of rain.

Drawn from her reverie, she pursed her lips and stubbornly stood her ground, staring blankly at his outreached hand. A deafening roar of thunder rolled down from the sky, bouncing off the brick walls of the alleyway and surrounding them, followed closely by a bright flash of lightning. Too close. He squinted and looked up at the sky warily, then back to her, his eyes silently pleading. She bit down hard on the inside of her cheek and willfully looked away.

“Laura. Please.”

_Laura._

Her name cut through the air and hit her like a punch to the gut. Her wide, surprised eyes flashed up to his.

He was stricken and quickly looked away. The color had drained completely from his face as if he had mistakenly let something very personal slip out into the air. Something he kept guarded and close and was terrified of losing.

Rain was soaking his hair and running over his downcast eyes. She dropped her gaze to his mouth, at his soft lips pressed tightly together, lips through which her name had just passed for the first time since she had known him. She thought about how it had sounded to her ears, tinged with his thick accent, and how it caused an explosion of flutterings in her stomach.

Once again her body made a decision that her mind wasn’t privy to, and her hand lifted and slid easily into his just as he went to pull away.

A spark passed through him to her, or was it the other way around? She didn’t know, but she knew that she felt it, knew that he felt it too because he looked at her like he was seeing her for the first time and it was so powerful that tears burned the corners of her eyes.

Then they were moving. He pulled her behind him, and they dashed through the streets, rain coming down in sheets around them, his long legs pulling them miles ahead of everyone else while her own legs struggling to keep up. She stumbled over the uneven cobblestones and he reacted quickly, squeezing her hand harder and hauling her up, and the look of concern on his face when he turned back to make sure that she was okay sent a tremor through her.

Separating from the crowds, they took a sharp turn into an ancient looking cemetery full of weeping willows with crumbling headstones under their branches, the names and dates long since smoothed away by weather and the passing of time. He stopped at a large stone mausoleum draped in creeping ivy, pulling her under the darkened cover of the doorway.

He let her go and the emptiness that came from the loss of his hand startled her. As he turned his back to her, she couldn’t help but notice the tension that had settled in his shoulders, and the slight flex of his hand where hers had just been.

They were both soaked to the bone and despite the steamy heat the rain had created, she was shaking and her teeth were chattering. She ran her hands up and down her bare arms to warm herself.

He took notice and without looking, held his denim jacket out to her. She stared at it for a moment, then reached out to take it from him, sliding it over her shoulders and pulling it tightly across her chest.

It swamped her, but she didn’t mind. It was warm, and it smelled like whiskey and cigarettes, and another scent that she had begun to recognize as his own that reminded her of new growth in a forest, or the mist that rolls off the sea after a storm. She leaned against the stone wall as it invaded her senses, sending her mind reeling back to the bar and his lips pressed against her neck as he moved inside her. She squeezed her eyes to steady herself and keep her in the present, but she found herself enjoying the memory, and she let go just a little.

When she opened her eyes, she was looking directly into his, gazing at her the way he had the night before, like he was desperate to touch her. He blushed and looked away.

It was too late though. She had seen it, and it hadn’t been the first time. It was the way he looked at her when he didn’t think she would notice, when he was just outside her periphery and he thought he was safe. The look that excited and scared her, because despite all the shit she put him through, he still looked at her like she was the sun in his universe.

But something else was there, too, something familiar, glittering just below the surface, and though she had never seen it from him before, she knew the look all too well. It was a look of pain and hurt, things that she had caused him to feel. Things that she had caused so many people to feel.

And for them, emotions that were wildly outside of their comfort zones.

In other instances when she had been on the receiving end of such a look, she was quick to turn away. She wasn’t equipped to deal with looks like that.

But in this instance, she had nowhere to run. And maybe she didn’t want to run.

It was like seeing straight into his soul, a soul that had already been so broken, and not just by her. By others. So many others. She didn’t want to be like them. Her guilt swelled like a rising crescendo, pouring over her like the rain over all those headstones, smoothing her bare. Her eyes filled once again for reasons that were glaringly obvious.

They were silent for a long time before he spoke, his voice barely loud enough for her to hear above the sound of the falling rain echoing off the stone walls.

“What you suggested…” he began, shuffling his feet and awkwardly shifting his weight back and forth, “I would never do that to anyone. Ever. That just… it isn’t who I am.”

There was a tone to his voice that she had never heard before, or if she had, she hadn’t taken the time to notice it. She wondered how many other things about him she had missed, and if things would be different between them if she had just taken the time to notice.

He cleared his throat, and began to speak again, though he kept his eyes to the ground, refusing to look at her.

“But especially you. I could never, _ever_ do that to you. And for you to even think...” His voice dropped off at the end, but she could feel the hurt coming off of him in waves, the air was thick with it. It filled their small space, an unseen force pinning her against the opposite wall, making her feel it.

Her heartbeat leapt into a gallop and she swallowed down a swell of nausea that had risen quickly in her throat. She wasn’t used to this, having to stand still and bear witness to the effects of her disdain and indifference. In the small space they found themselves in, trapped between three stone walls and a rush of water, she had no choice but to witness the effect of her damages head on. She breathed in deeply, absorbing the dense atmosphere into her body, and with it the weight of his agony. She looked everywhere but at him.

“I know,” she mumbled, her eyes pinned to her feet.

It was a pathetic apology that he didn’t deserve.

But she was still her, and despite knowing what she should do, she was limited to what she could, and she could only hope that at this point he would understand that about her.

Raising her eyes just a fraction, she risked a peek at him through her lashes. He was staring at her, his brow furrowed and eyes narrowed. Distrust. No. Surprise. And relief. He was relieved. She snapped her eyes shut.

Thunder rumbled above the trees, the guttural sound reverberating through their little refuge. It was followed closely by a crackle of lightning that electrified the heavy atmosphere and made her jump. The rain intensified, turning from a downpour to a deluge. It washed over the roof of the mausoleum, through the leaves of the ivy, creating a curtain over the doorway that enclosed them in a darkened space that felt too close, too intimate.

They were both breathing heavy, and no longer from the run or the dense, damp air. It was from something else entirely, something that they were each too afraid to admit, but that existed palpably in the space between them.

She felt like she was in one of those sappy romantic movies that Audrey would make her watch when she hating Robbie and needed a reminder of what love could be like, and Laura would appease her because she was her friend. The ones she would make fun of in the moment because that was who she was and because she needed to save face, but would later think about, and secretly wish she could experience something so over the top and all consuming at least once in her melancholic life.

This felt like one of those moments, and she found that she had no desire to make fun of it. Instead, that need from her old life flared inside of her, and she leaned into it, her desire to feel it all outweighing her innate need to hide.

“Why don’t you ever say my name?” She asked quietly, raising her eyes slowly.

A faint blush rose in his cheeks. He shrugged and stared down at his feet.

“It makes this personal. Makes it something more.”

She nodded, understanding.

“What about you?” he asked.

She pursed her lips and didn’t respond, but they both knew the answer. Names took them to a place that would change everything.

Instead of turning his eyes away again, he left them on hers, and they burned through her, understanding her and knowing her in a way that no one else did. Like he could see every secret she tried desperately to hide from him, and forgave her for each one.

Something shifted between them, and he pushed off of the wall as if he had decided on something, taking two short strides towards her. Her breath caught in her throat and her body stiffened and pushed back against the wall.

“What are you doing?” She asked, her voice shaking slightly, the last wall that she had intact already crumbling with every breath she released into the space between them.

“I’m gonna kiss you,” he said quietly.

Her mind raced. Her instinct was to say no and to push him away roughly. She could do it, she was stronger than he was. Then she dully thought of Shadow and her plight and how he had made her heart beat, and how that had to mean something.

But then she saw him standing in front of her, so close that she could feel the warmth radiating from him, absorbing him, all of him, the way she had the night before. The memory played in her mind like a movie in slow motion, his rough hands holding her to him like had done it hundreds of times before, his lips against her neck, lightly, painfully holding himself back and his eyes… his eyes so full of shock and vulnerability and… _love_. Love like she had never experienced before. Love that was new and real and that scared the shit out of her because it was hitting her from all angles. She didn’t know that love like that could exist, but she was quickly learning that there was no escaping it.

Before she realized it, her heels were rocking off the ground in anticipation, moving her to balance ever so slightly on the balls of her feet. As if she were caught in a magnetic pull she felt herself lean forward and tilt her chin towards his, and taking that as a sign, he stepped into her space. She waited with bated breath, with lips parted expectantly, as he paused for a moment to wet his lips and gather his courage before finally lowering his mouth to hers.

The touch of his lips was gentle and achingly, tortuously slow. It sparked, his energy and his life passing straight to her soul.

She ran her hands over his chest, stopping to feel his racing heart, and he pushed in further, wrapping his arms around her thin waist, dragging her body up and into his.

She had been kissed many times before. But not one of those kisses, not even Shadow’s, came anywhere close to this one. It wasn’t just any kiss. It was so much more.

This was was the kiss you saved for a partner you hadn’t seen in years. For someone you loved forever from afar and had finally gotten the chance to show her what she’d been missing. This kiss was reserved for The One. It was his kiss. _Their_ kiss. And the idea that this one had been reserved just for her alone sent a thrill throughout her entire body.

He kissed her like she was all of things. Like she was his whole world, his one and only. This is what had been missing the night before, the feelings it was eliciting making it far more intimate than sex.

She slid her arms over his shoulders and pulled herself closer to him, feeling every part of his soaking body pressed tightly to every inch of his. A noise slipped from his throat, and it was so light and low that she barely heard it over the rush of water and the rattling thunder that filled her ears. She knew that he had done it though, because he pulled back suddenly, the fear of realization crawling across his face. He closed his mouth and swallowed hard.

She felt him begin to pull away, to retreat to his corner of the entryway, but it was too late for that. They had crossed the line, a major, life altering line, and she knew they couldn’t just go back. They could never go back. So she reacted quickly.

Her hand lifted and took hold of his belt, her fingers curling around it, holding him in place. The heat of his body warmed her cool fingers and she squeezed harder, letting her fingers press into him.

She heard him suck in an unsteady breath.

For a moment, time was still, and neither of them dared to move, but he wanted to, she could see it in the desperation behind his eyes. But he wasn’t going to move, not until she allowed it. He was waiting for her to decide what would happen next.

 _I've already decided, though,_ she thought. She just needed to show him.

She lowered her eyes, placing her palms flat against his stomach, watched her hands as if they were no longer under her control trail carefully over his stomach, feeling the taut muscles tightening under her touch, her fingers sliding over each button. He stiffened and she looked up. He was watching her closely, lips parted, eyes dark and hooded. Waiting.

She bit her bottom lip, took a deep breath and in the release let go of all of her fears, uncertainties, doubts, and insecurities. There was no space for them here. She reached up to grip each side of the top of his shirt, and balling the fabric tightly in her fists, she pulled him down to her.

“Kiss me again,” she said softly, her words coming out as more of a question than a request. She faltered slightly because of how much of herself she was giving away, but finding it difficult to care either way. She only knew what she needed. The feeling his lips gave her, his body pressed close. To chase the high he gave her.

Once she opened the door for him, he didn’t hesitate. He slid both hands behind her, lifting her easily. She swung her legs around his waist and he pressed his body against her, pinning her to the cool stone wall with his towering height. His hands ran up her legs, pushing her wet dress to tops of her thighs, settling on her hips, holding her tightly to him.

She liked this. Liked that he could easily hold her with his sheer size and weight, and how he wasn’t afraid that she would break. Liked that he could swallow her body into his, how he melted into her, claiming her, making her his. She’d be lying if she said she hadn’t thought of this, long before their night with the Baron, back to the first night she laid eyes on him, imagining how quickly he could take her and how willinging she would give in.

He nuzzled his face into her neck, breathing in the scent of hair, his soft lips barely brushing against her skin, but leaving flames in their wake. For the first time in what felt like forever, her heart raced, her body hummed in anticipation. She closed her eyes, taking it all in.

But this, her body, the spark of life curling through her veins, it wasn’t going to last forever. She remembered the potion in her pocket, how hours ago she thought it to be useless, but now thought about what it would mean for her to use it. How she could live her life after she returned, if he would have her if she wasn’t different. If she went back to being just Laura.

She didn’t want to lose this feeling after missing it for so long. She didn’t want to lose this moment, the power of Argus and the magic of the Loa still flowing through her veins, allowing her to feel every inch of him pressed into her and the tiny electric shocks that rushed through her at points of contact.

She pulled back to look into his face. His eyes were closed with such focus and rapt concentration that she felt a burst spread out from the center of her chest and into her stomach. It was something that felt close, _so close_ , to an emotion she had closed herself off to so long ago, that was now here, right at her fingertips, and she needed it, wanted to feel it once again, so she chased it.

She brushed the tip of her nose against his, bringing his lips closer to hers, and he sighed and pressed his to hers, kissing her passionately, sending shuddering vibrations throughout her body.

It was different than the first one. The first one was testing the waters, this was laying a claim.

They found a pace that felt startlingly familiar and fell into it. His tongue ran languidly across her lower lip, she moaned and tilted her head slightly, opening her mouth wider, inviting him in, and he dipped in, slowly and deeply. She wrapped her arms around his neck, burying her fingers in his damp hair, pressing impossibly close.

Their movements intensified dramatically, frantically, like they were making up for lost time. His hands gripped her hips harder, possessively, his thumbs pressing hard circles to her skin through the thin fabric of her wet dress. He moved his lips to trail kisses across her cheek, along her jaw, and down the side of his neck, one hand abandoning her hip to slide firmly up her side. He paused, his thumb hesitantly grazing the soft curve of her breast and she pressed her head against the wall and arched into him, a soft moan forced from her throat. He groaned and sliding his hand over her, lowered his mouth to her neck again.

She wanted this. Wanted him to kiss her just like this for as long as possible. Wanted his hands to roam all over her body, to touch her where her body was begging to be touched, so that there wasn’t an inch of her he hadn’t made his own. She needed more of him, and she reached between them to pull at his damp shirt and slide her hands underneath to feel the smooth skin of his stomach. He growled, pushing his hands up her thighs and under her dress. She gasped, writhing desperately against him.

“I want you,” she whispered desperately against his neck, the admission slipping out before she had a chance to stop it.

“God, Laura,” he said, moaning her name into her ear and lifting his hips up and into her in response, and she felt him, hard and ready for her, and she wanted him so much that she almost cried out. Her hands flew between them to his belt, tugging at it roughly.

She became dimly aware of the rain slowing, the sounds in the alcove of the mausoleum changing from a cacophony of rain to their breathy moans and the friction of their bodies against each other.

“Wait, wait,” he murmured in between kisses, and she felt his hand move to hers, holding her from his belt and the zipper she was fingering. She felt like crying out in disappointment. His kisses, like the rain, slowed and eventually stopped.

She caught herself lifting her head to chase his lips as he pulled away from her, painstakingly slow, and when she finally opened her eyes, he was watching her. She sank back against the wall, felt the heat rising in waves to her cheeks, embarrassed, the old need to run flashed before her eyes, but then he touched her, and she stilled. He ran his fingers across her cheek, and then a thumb across her bottom lip, staring at it like he wanted to pull it back between his teeth.

“Trust me, I…,” he sighed, not finishing his thoughts, his hands skating up her legs and over her hips, eyes crawling slowly over her so that she felt it.

“Just… not here,” he whispered, “We have company.”

She followed the direction of his tilted head to see a small group of tourists watching them, their eyes wide. They scattered when they met Laura’s fiery gaze. She turned back to him, and he was smiling slightly, his face still flushed, his eyes still dark with unfulfilled need and relief washed over her because she knew he wanted it just as much as she.

“This,” he said, pushing her damp hair off of her face and searching her eyes, “I’m not willing to share.”

She sighed, begrudgingly unwrapping her legs from around his waist, and he lowered her slowly to the ground. Smoothing her hands over her dress, she looked up at him.

“So, where to next?” he asked, pulling his flask from his pocket and offering it to her first. She took it from his hand, her fingers brushing his, and lifted it to her mouth to take a long sip. Handing it back to him, they studied each other closely, a smile pulling knowingly at each of their mouths. They knew where they were going.

She cocked her head for him to follow her, and stepped out from the cover of the ivy into the sun that had begun to seep through the clouds.

When she looked back, he was right behind her.


End file.
